Resolutions & Body Dysmorphia

Resolutions: "I resolve to. . ." Every year at this time I go over last years resolutions and health and fitness heads the list. Health is our most valuable possession to be sure and there is always room to improve. This year, however, I'm NOT going to resolve to cut up my abs again. Instead, I'm going to resolve to be continue my health & fitness regime, but to be happy where I am and to appreciate my body exactly where it is. It's not that I don't still have improvements to make, it is that by appreciating my body rather than focusing on the imperfections I will be on a more effective road to health, fitness and better sex. As athletes and dancers know best, body dysmorphia is a cruel taskmaster -- especially as we age. It doesn't matter how "perfect" one is in reality because perception is everything. Too many of us see ourselves as imperfect and put our focus there rather than seeing what is right and good. So, this year I resolve to love my little love handles. They signify that I am human and that I am enjoying my life. Attitude of gratitude. . .

Spending the holidays in a swimsuit on a beach in Brazil where there is no such thing as body fat is either a beautiful adventure or a nightmare. For my friend Sharon (not real name) it seemed the latter. She is a lovely 34 year old with a beautiful body with curves. She exercises rigorously and watches what she eats/drinks but she cannot get her body to become the skinny girl she was in her 20's. For her vacation she spent alot of money to visit paradise but she was living in hell. The other girls around her were more fit and only reinforced her own personal nightmare. She covered up with wraps, hid behind others in photos and only picked at delicious meals. She cannot see her own beauty and the torture of her thoughts actually make the lie into truth. Her laugh has become forced and her spirit diminished. I'm sure this is true both in and out of the bedroom. The real irony is that she will someday look back and see how beautiful she was and wish she could have felt it. I told her that the only thing she needed to fix was her own perception of herself. She couldn't hear me.

On the airplane back I sat next to a talkative, 28 year old car mechanic named Winston. As I wrote my New Years resolutions in my journal he couldn't help but comment. He'd had a few champagnes and was talkative. He decided to tell me all his resolutions, yet he skipped heath & fitness. His focus was primarily material. When he was finished I asked, "what about health?" He went on about how he was too busy to exercise and that's why he'd put on 30 pounds in the last year (based on the size of his waistline I guessed he wasn't exaggerating). I asked him if his sex life suffered from it. He laughed but didn't answer -- he didn't need to. I asked him how many clients could have avoided huge costs in auto repair if they had just done a regular tune up and put proper oil in their cars. Exercise is like the rent you pay to be in your body. If you don't want to live in squalor or be evicted early, you must pay. Winston's body dysmorphia was of another kind. He was in denial that he was in his body and that his attention to it affected its appearance. Although it was quite audacious of me to bring it up, he thanked me for our chat and reminded me to put oil in my car.

Life and happiness are all about balance ---- and perception is everything!

Teaching a Robin to Fly

Teaching others to be in touch with their bodies is such a beautiful gift. Every class I witness miracles. Robin is an exotic and beautiful woman in her early twenties with coffee skin and ethereal, light green eyes. Her smile lightens up a room. She has a beautiful tattoo of the Goddess energy she exudes down her back. By day she works behind a desk. Recently she discovered AntiGravity Yoga. From her first day she was hooked and in just three months her body has completely transformed shedding 25 pounds!

A typical native New Yorker, Robin had very little physical experience with her body. Her first class she could do very little. Her muscles were weak, her alignment completely off and she had poor kinesthetic awareness. She is somewhat flexible, but without muscular support on her frame that carries an extra 30-40 pounds, her physical looseness is only a liability --- an accident waiting to happen. She struggled hard through the exercises, barely able to get through the class --- breathing heavily and sweating profusely on the simplest of tasks. Enthusiasm is the most under-rated emotion. Robin was never defeated. She finished the class and committed to returning the next day. Every time she got better and she acknowledged every new progression with excitement no matter how small. At times her struggle was painful to watch but her hope and devotion was inspiring.

Robin knew that she was meant to fly --- it was in her name. With her body lighter and more agile she now glides and soars through class. Her sheer glee carried her through the storm of mastering her body. Her enthusiasm made it seem effortless. She can perform the Vetruvian Man, the Vampire and even the Falling Star! She has even expressed interest in becoming an instructor!

I learn so much from my students. From Robin I have learned the power of enthusiasm behind a vision. She saw herself as a beautiful bird who was meant to fly and she became it. No matter how hard the struggle, she never lost hope. She kept her sights on the end goal and she transformed accordingly. I can't wait to see where she will be in a year!

Ahh---- to be sharing the gift of flight and lightness ---- both meanings of antigravity --- I am so blessed!

ELEVEN = INSPIRATION

I'm not superstitious, but I love omens. I'm born on 7/11 and have been an elevens freak for a long while, attracting many others who were also born on an 11. In numerology, eleven = inspiration. I've come to believe that when I see elevens it signifies that I'm on the right track --that I'm at one with my destiny. When I see a 711 combo I feel extra lucky. They come to me on receipts, on license plates, in totals, on clocks and in random areas. Since this is the 11th month my world has been filled with my favorite auspicious symbols. My subconscious must be at work because I even caught the clock just by chance on 11:11 on 11/11 (2009 adds up to 11).

Today, 11/17 while following my regular pattern, I pushed the button on my elevator and went to the window to look out at the West Side of Manhattan from 46 floors high as I waited for my daily downward commute. Outside, a train races under a tunnel that is exposed at 44th street where I can see it if the timing is right. Today it raced by with a special message. I noticed three numbers on the front car of the train in large red letters that signified what number this train was -- 711. They were the only distinguishable numbers on this speed train. What a beautiful metaphor --- my special numbers on a speeding train! I savored the moment and called it an extra good omen.

“Flying By The Seat Of My Pants" for 19 years

The actual day was missed. I was in Milan training new disciples in AntiGravity Yoga and I had no idea what day it was. By the time I realized that the 19th anniversary of AntiGravity had come and gone it was too late. It's okay, I told myself, next year will be the one to blow out. I came home from the trip, untweaked my back on my AntiGravity hammock from the long flight and then spent some time in reflection – and in gratitude.

I dropped out of business school to study dance. My father was dismayed but he supported me following my passion, despite the obvious struggle ahead for a kid from a small town in Utah. After six years of performing around the world and on Broadway, I found my true talents underutilized so I formed my own company.

When we first began there was no internet. Faxes and pagers were state of the art. When we first began very few had heard of Cirque du Soleil and there was no such thing as the X Games. When we first began acrobat was a dirty word and those who mastered their body were still treated by the industry like baton twirlers. When we first began Jane Fonda style aerobics was considered the best form of exercise. There was no bungee dancing, no flying silks, no AntiGravity Boots and no real integration of dance and acrobatics in America. AntiGravity athletes were the pioneers and gladly, all that has changed.

We began as a bunch of gymnasts, street tumblers and acrobats who had no place large enough to express our passion for movement. We wanted to break out and experiment with physicality without the confining rules of sport. We wanted to fly!

Our very first gig was to entertain the exhausted athletes from the NYC marathon at their post-party celebration at Roseland. We flipped in synchronicity to the music in a dance that created a wholly new movement vocabulary. We flew thru the roof with our very first show. The budget for all 10 of us was $2000 for two numbers. I’m proud to say we’ve since commanded one hundred times that for the same amount of time. When the excited announcer asked the name of our group and we had yet to make one up, I spontaneously and auspiciously quoted an album cover I’d seen earlier that day “Zero-Gravity” (which I soon changed to start with an A rather than Z). Our next gig was a featured spot in the Easter Show at Radio City Music Hall, which we did seasonally for three years. Since then we’ve performed in 24 countries and on every major event from the Olympics to the Academy Awards. My proudest moment, however, came earlier this year as we performed on national TV with the biggest celebrities of our day, as the only non-musical act for the inauguration of the new President of the United States, OBAMA!

Now, beyond entertainment, our brand has expanded to include fitness. AntiGravity is becoming a global brand and may one day soon be a household name. With each new franchise I see the vision expanding and I am honored to touch more people with the passion of movement and see their joy as they are victorious in challenging their own limits.

In my childhood I remember watching a man fly around with a jet-pack at the State Fair back in the 1960’s. My father told me that one day, probably by the millennium we would all be able to fly around like that. I never got my jetpack, but I sprouted my own kind of wings.

I’m certain that the years ahead will be equally as fulfilling. Our foundation is solid and our wings are now full with beautiful feathers. We are currently being courted by the top international fitness companies who recognize the value in our intellectual property, trademarks and work ethic. Every day is another fabulous adventure in business. Our journey is just beginning.

During this road to twenty I will expose much on this blog and the knowledge from the oft rethreaded seat of my pants will be here to inspire others.

photo: Lois Greenfield, Raymond Weil Watch campaign circa 1993

AntiGravity Boots High Diving: A New Sport?

I never cease to be inspired by my team of athletes. Whenever we are together, we encourage each other to challenge our limits and to reach new heights. This week we had a performance for the Grand Opening of the AT&T Performing Arts Center in Dallas. We condensed our touring show down to three 15 minute sets and rocked the house large. AntiGravity athletes bounced on bungees, flipped on AntiGravity boots, flew from trampolines, spun on flying apparatus and tumbled up and over each other with panache and bravado. As usual, the audience watches with their jaws dropped. We’ve carved this special niche in the theatre world as athletes who take to the stage to demonstrate human potential. Other industry professionals think we are crazy, but we are really just bringing what we do on the ski slopes, basketball courts and competition floors to a new environment. We live to jump and flip and soar, so even on our day off in Dallas we decided to go have some extreme fun.

Beau Sydes is a former champion diver from SMU in Dallas. His former coach Jim is cut from the same thread as our team. When Beau approached him about Team AntiGravity coming to play in his pool, he was all in. His pool has diving platforms. On a dare, Beau took his AntiGravity Boots to the pool, climbed up his familiar ladder and bounced into the water. This was great fun to watch and all the team was there to encourage him. But that wasn’t enough. We egged him on. Each boot weighs 8.5 pounds and is definitely cumbersome. In diving even the smallest variant can throw you off. A "smack" from that high would be extremely painful, similar to getting hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. You lose all your breath and 99% of the time the diver will pass out. This goes along with bruised and blistered skin and coughing up blood. Still, the peer pressure and the adrenaline rush got his champion mentality to push forward. With very little hesitation he performed a "double front with a half twist" from the 10 meter platform and landed it perfectly securing his Legacy Wings with Team AntiGravity.

It's always fun to find a new recipe for cross-blending artistic sports. We've been reinventing now for nineteen years. Perhaps Team AntiGravity has discovered a new dimension of a standard sport once again.

(watch for upcoming video on youtube/antigravitynyc)

Photos by Taylor Brody & Shelly Bomb

Giving Yourself Permission To Grow

Teaching adults to hang upside down is a most marvelous thing. When one’s world is suddenly reversed all kinds of stuff comes up. This was the case for Sarah (not real name & not photo of her). Sarah was raised in NYC during the 60’s / 70’s. Kids had very few playgrounds and since the culture in NY is litigious, anything that looked like it could be dangerous was discouraged --- unless it was football, basketball or baseball. Since women weren’t part of team sports in those days, there were few opportunities for them to discover their own physical prowess. Many women age 45 and older from NYC are not in tune with their own body. Yoga however is a safe and gentle place for them and many women are attracted to it. Although AntiGravity Yoga is actually easier than many other forms of yoga, it does require a certain amount of body awareness and some courage.

Sarah, who showed up for my class, had been studying yoga and also bikes. She is fit, but carries a lot of fears and insecurities. She excelled beautifully in my class but when it came time for the Monkey inversion, she suddenly freaked out. Her heart started racing, she couldn’t determine up from down, left from right or her foot from her hand. I had to spot her in and out of every progression and spent too much time trying to get her to relax. At the end of class she came up to me with all of her insecurities and started to give me a myriad of reasons as to why she couldn’t do it (weak core, uncoordinated, no arm strength etc.) I knew these were all stories she had made up about herself or stories someone else had fed her that were simply not true. I am an expert at discerning physical talent and capability --- it is what I do. I had no doubt that she was physically capable, so I gave her a decree that would change her life forever. First I told her of my credentials and asked her if she trusted me to which she said, “yes”. Then I told her that her stories were all innocent lies and that they need to be revisited. I then gave her a quick but thorough assessment of her body and told her the following, “As a fitness expert whose job it is to assess physical prowess, I hereby do decree that YOU, SARAH ARE CAPABLE” and I touched her on the head. Immediately I saw a shift in her consciousness as she gave herself permission to grow and released years of limiting thought with a smile. In her next class she easily conquered the Monkey inversion on her own and even made it to the Chandelier inversion without any freakout. We were both excited by her growth and she thanked me profusely. The experience filled me with gratitude to be able to help her. It also made me ask myself what limitations I put on my own talent that hold me back from my best good.

Forgetting Sept. 11th

Yesterday was Sept. 11th, the eighth anniversary of the attacks. I swore that I would “never forget”, but I am taking it back. I hope that what I am about to say doesn’t sound like heresy, but my feelings of anger and disappointment are now stronger than my feelings of sorrow or sympathy towards the victims of the tragedy.

On the first anniversary of 9/11 I produced a benefit show here in NYC honoring the sacrifice of the rescue-workers raising money for worth-while related causes. The non-verbal, imagery-based production we collaboratively created and performed was entitled “An American Band”. It used retro pop tunes to tell a story of how we as New Yorkers came together to recover from the events of that horrible day. The weather on the one year anniversary was odd in NY. Candlelight vigils had been established all over the city in the parks, but instead of peaceful memorials, a giant windstorm came through blowing out all the candles. As if to say, “move on”, the winds of change stormed through the streets cleansing every crevice, digging up every scrap and even twisting anything that wasn’t secured.

For me, the sign from Mother Nature did not go unnoticed, but unfortunately the same was not true for the rest of our society. What has ensued since then in the name of “never forgetting” is despicable. If only we all could have listened to the winds and left it behind us.

Instead, we have started two wars, bankrupting our country while killing thousands of more Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis in a futile attempt to at revenge. We fell into the mode of fear and succumbed to the lies of corrupt politicians who sold us a bill of good. Many Americans are now destitute and we are caught up in a war quagmire. 911 has been leveraged on every front, from the families of the victims who perpetuate the giant hole in the ground downtown, to the disgusting former mayor who profited to the tune of millions despite his ineptitude and even ran for president based on the tragedy --- and on and on.

We relinquished our “land of the free and home of the brave” and opted instead for fear-mongering and revenge. We are now paying the price.

I didn’t turn on the television and listen to the reading of the names. I didn’t put flowers at my local firestation. I didn’t call and commemorate with my friends. I didn’t even light a candle. I moved on.

There will always be a pain deep inside me on this day as I consider the immense losses. There will always be sympathy for the victims and the families they left behind. There will always be a respect for the challenges faced and the courage shown by many. There will always be gratitude in my heart for the fact that despite my team and I departing from JFK on American Airlines on the Sept. 11th, 2001, we were not one of the fateful flights. These things I will never forget, but I am choosing not to get stuck in the past --- enough residual damage has already been done through that practice.

Handstanding Grandmas

Last night two grandmothers from Connecticut came into the city to take my AntiGravity Yoga class at Om Factory. They had followed the progress of AGY on line and were anxious to take from the master himself. I always claim that the class is designed for anyone, provided they already have some kind of fitness regime --- now I had to prove it. Needless to say, I watched them closely. The sun salutation portion (stretching and flexibility) was easy. The cardio and conditioning section they got thru (although one had to sit down for a moment to get over a hot flash). The flying downward dog inversion went well and so I took them the distance along with the rest of the younger set. I decided to teach the handstand. To perform the handstand, one must follow clear directions and specific progressions. It requires body awareness, core strength and upper body strength. First you wrap the AntiGravity Hammock at the fulcrum point on your body and glue it there by walking backward to tension. Then you lever your body back and tiptoe under the plumb line (abs!). Then you lift one leg up at a time to a tucked position til you are balancing on the hammock on the back side of your hips while holding on with your hands. Then you open your legs to the outside of the AntiGravity Hammock and allow your hands to slide down 8". Then you leg lock your legs around and allow your head to go back. Next your hands go below your shoulders onto the ground. From there you push upward with your legs and your arms to a handstand while squeezing your legs together. The AntiGravity Hammock supports you completely so you cannot fall and actually assists you in the lift. The entire class got it --- including my lovely Baby Boomer ladies! When they came out of the pose they were giddy --- like schoolgirls. After class I let them take photos for proof to show to their grandkids. Gotta love that! Believe it or not, this was as fulfilling for me as it was for them. My objective has always been to create a fitness technique for everyone and to have students leave with a feeling of accomplishment as well as better health. Every time I teach there are wonderful stories of success. Way to go Connecticut Grandmas! You proved me right!

Burning Man

Burning Man is the greatest festival on this planet of any kind. I am so sad to have missed it this year --- for the rest of my life at this time I will always want to be in Black Rock City, Nevada. Since I didn't have my blog back then, I'm going to post a blurb about it now.

If friendly and creative aliens from another planet were to land in the desert and throw a party, would you go? This is what Black Rock City is like in comparison to the "normal" world. Everyone who goes there has two obligations --- to give freely and to live creatively. There is no currency, there are no distinctive factors between classes, there is no judgment, no lawyers --- there is only love; for each other, for the environment around you, for the amazing gift of life.

As a successful someone in the creative arts I thought I understood what that meant --- to live creatively, but until I experienced Burning Man, I truly had no idea. All the precious training and experience had me stuck in a box. Burning Man forces you out. This experience has changed me significantly --- I can never go back to who I was before.

Here are a few images from my trip ---- they say so much. To all the Burners who made it back out to Black Rock City --- I am desperately missing you --- and regretting that I allowed life to get in the way of yet another adventure. http://www.burningman.com/

What AntiGravity Can Do For Yoga?

In the last months I have been traveling around the U.S. and Canada setting up new franchises and training new instructors in AntiGravity Yoga. The exclusivity with Crunch expired and we are now expanding internationally --- working hard to fulfill orders from all over the world. Every new franchise is an exciting new adventure. This billboard is in Halifax.

In Nova Scotia the first Canadian AGY Team are all Pilates trained. Their knowledge of the body and their ability to articulate kinesiology makes them terrific instructors. They love the scientific aspects of the work. The Utah Team are all modern dancers and love the choreographic nature of the work. The Team in New Mexico are pole dancers and love the inherent sensuality of AG Yoga. The Team in New Jersey are gyrotonics and yoga instructors whose clientele have tired of their usual regime. They love the newness and the physical challenge. The Team in Italy are all fitness based and love the “whole body workout” of AGY as well as the non-impact nature. The Team in Germany appreciate the creativity and the thoroughness of the technique as well as the clarity of the manual. The New York Team, which will launch at Om Factory in September include some self-acclaimed yoga purists who are understandably skeptical of this new hybrid using the name yoga. This letter is to clarify my intentions to them and to the greater yoga community.

I launched AGY at Crunch Fitness in order to get the technique out as fast and as far-reaching as possible. Although they are a fitness chain that is not known for the quality of their yoga classes, they do have a great legacy as trend-setters in fitness. Most other fitness techniques are all about body beautiful and don’t take in mind the whole person so the two rarely mix well. Yoga purists may be loathe to cross-associate with the fitness world, but no matter how you slice it yoga is a fitness technique. Since it encompasses body/mind/spirit while creating overall health, I think yoga is the ultimate fitness technique, however, because people can find spirituality through yoga, practitioners often get this confused. Having recovered from two partial knee reconstructions and Lymes Disease, I've been forced to learn about the power of my own thoughts in relation to health. Although I am but a student of life and far from a guru, I have been on my path towards self-actualization for over 25 years.

As a physical being I am an athlete-turned dancer/choreographer who has evolved into a Nuevo Yogi (made-up word). My life experience began in gymnastics competition, turned to making beauty through art and has now morphed into creating overall health and well-being with my own personal style. As an artist I’ve never been interested in creating art for the elite. To me, they are too easy --- willing to fall for any emperor’s new wardrobe. As a creator of a fitness technique, I am also not interested in creating for the elite who already have their practice that works for them. I want to utilize the intriguing aspects of AGY to entice the non-yoga mainstream to discover yoga. Most of the population in the Western world has yet to explore what “presence” is, but they are well on their path to discovering how to keep fit. If through AGY I can introduce body/mind/spirit awareness then people will want to go deeper into the yoga practice and may also find their way to one of the recognized yoga paths and therefore a deeper sense of spirit.

The question was asked, "It is evident what yoga brings to AntiGravity training, but what does AntiGravity bring to yoga?" I believe that since this is a creative technique I can be one of the yogis that effectively brings yoga to the masses. I can also challenge yoga practitioners with a new take on a traditional technique while revitalizing existing studios whose clientele are seeking something new. Through AGY, I can help people discover a path towards self-actualization while helping to solve the complex problem of health care and obesity in our world.

AGY’s reach is wide. It does not discriminate against the physically challenged and it is creative in nature and therefore will attract newcomers to fitness. I have hundreds of letters from people who abhor exercise who enthusiastically say, “this is the answer to my health dilemma.” Everyone who has taken the class comes out feeling taller, lighter and more self-assured. The Doctors TV show recently named AGY as one of the top ten HEALTH trends of 2009. The technique is certified through the AFAA. Marika Molnar, the head Physical Therapist for NYC Ballet and editor of the Dance Therapy Journal has endorsed the technique as well. Now it is time to prove its benefits to the yoga community.

Not too long ago I attended Burning Man. There I learned first-hand that we are all here on this planet to give to one another. I have found my gift to humanity. I am using strong business principles in order to keep my gift pure (ensuring the safety of others) and to be able to share my gift with as many people as possible.

Come fly with us at Om Factory and bring your friends. Together we can escape the gravity of our times and learn to connect our spirit with the universal energy that heals the world.

I will be teaching classes daily at the Om Factory in New York City along with some stellar yogis starting in September. Visit the AntiGravity Yoga website for details.

25th Anniversary in NYC

In 1982 while attending the University of Utah I was cast in the movie “Footloose”. One day on set I approached the star Kevin Bacon for his advice. “What does one have to do to make it in New York City?” He thought about it for a moment then looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You’ve got to go there and stay there and never give up.” My Salt Lake City based agent for the film was one of Kevin’s former roommates in NYC who, despite her talent had given up on the Great White Way, opting to be a big fish in a small pond instead of another worm trying to carve a hole in the Big Apple.

Fast forward 25 years. I’m still here --- right in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen. July 15th was my anniversary.

At the tender age of 23, I had just graduated with a “Bachelors of University Studies -- emphasizing Theatre and Dance Performance”. I was also fresh out of two partial knee reconstructions. I had no connections and was absolutely clueless, but I had talent, a major film credit and loads of ambition.

The day before my departure my one friend in NY, Julie Butler called to tell me that I couldn’t be her roommate after-all, that White Plains was too far from the city and that Manhattan was where I needed to be. She said, “you’ll thank me years down the road.” I did, but it didn’t make my plight any easier at the time.

My first night: An acquaintance, Kimberly Comprix, let me crash the first night on her floor. It was July 15th and the middle of a classic NY summer heat-wave in the heart of Hells Kitchen. Her tiny studio apartment was so packed that we had to put my luggage (everything I owned in 3 bags) in the bathtub. She said I could stay for two days until her wary boyfriend returned.

My first audition: At my first audition, “Sesame Street Live!” I learned the hierarchy of the industry. Non-union members are seen last, provided there was time after a full day of reviewing hundreds of out-of-work card-carrying members. To get a union card you had to do a union show (catch-22). Luckily, they needed dancers who could flip and I got the job --- but I had to travel on the road in a horrible costume for 9 months before I’d get my union card. Although I desperately needed it, I was courageous enough to turn it down. The fellow gymnast I’d met at the audition also got the job and took it. It burnt him out and he left the industry shortly there after (to become the very successful clothing designer and porn star, Raymond Dragon).

My first job: By the end of my second month I’d blown through all of my hard-earned money, still had no support system and did not have my union card. I took a job at Pizzeria Uno in the Village but was fired after my second day because they discovered I didn’t know any beers outside of Coors, Bud and Miller (thanks Utah). Luckily, soon after I wound up with a chorus job in a dinner theater that would allow me to live like a church mouse and would get me my union card at the end of the 13 week run.

My first apartment: After a few difficult sublets I wound up with my own apartment on 44th street and 9th avenue (the same street as A Chorus Line!). I faced the back of the building where from a half-way house I would watch hookers escape from their Johns down the back of the neighboring building in the middle of the night. My next door neighbor Pablo was a porn star who lived in his too short boxer shorts. In the basement level was a Crack-den. Every night was another Hells Kitchen adventure. Although it often scared me, I loved it.

I was ambitious --- dead set on dancing ON BROADWAY! It would take me five years to complete the goal, and the journey there would take me all over the world in pursuit of the quest. Once accomplished, I was ready to move on, my knees weren’t handling the 8 show a week schedule and the camaraderie of theater friends proved to be false. At 28, unfulfilled by anything else I’d discovered in the Entertainment Industry, I started my own dance company: AntiGravity. The rest is history.

For the anniversary I took my memory on a stroll through the neighborhood. So much has changed, so few establishments still remain. I miss the Improvisation Club, Alps Pharmacy, The Studio Café Diner, Curtain Up and so many more. I marvel that Smilers, Rudy’s Bar and the Westway survived. My grungy and somewhat dangerous neighborhood is now hip and cool. Bridge and tunnel revelers come here to party. I remembered something else that Mr. Bacon said, "You'll know you made it because the NY Times will write about you." I guess I'm a success then -- I've been profiled twice.

I’m still here in the same neighborhood (with less hair :), but now from my view on the 46th floor I can see my first apartment. The Theater district is still full of dreamers, a new crop of “wanna-be’s” hungry to make their mark. If per chance I am asked for my advice I reference Kevin Bacon. “If you want to make it in New York City, you have to go there and stay there and never give up.”

Proprioceptors: The Key To Agility

"Air-awareness" is knowing where the ground is while flipping, spinning and soaring through the air. Like a cat that always lands on its feet, some people have an innate sense of air-awareness. What they really have are keen proprioceptors.

When I was in my early 20's, as a world-class competitive athlete challenging the limits of my body, I blew out my knees. I tore the anterior cruciate ligaments and had to have them reconstructed. The accidents happened approximately one year apart on either side. The therapy protocol back then was very different than today. It required non-weight bearing immobilization for the first 4 months and one year before returning to regular activity. Each time, my leg came out of the cast with the muscles completely atrophied, the nerves severed and the joint having lost 80% of its mobility. I had to rebuild the biomechanics from scratch. Needless to say, the rehab was grueling. My physical therapist had to break up the scar tissue in order to get back mobility one painful millimeter at time. The strength and flexibility training to return to competitive levels tried my will to the core. My saving grace was that I was determined to flip and skip and dance again --- and was unrelenting in my ambition.

One of the many things I learned in the process of recovery was about proprioceptors. Proprioceptors are the sensory receptors in your joints that tell the brain where you are in relation to space. On one end of the spectrum, if your proprioceptors become dull or if they are damaged, you will lose your balance where as high-level athletes have carefully tweaked proprioceptors that give them a greater competitive advantage. Skaters, gymnasts, snow-boarders, trapeze artists and ballet dancers spend years honing in on skills that defy the laws of gravity. What they are really doing is fine-tuning their proprioceptor response in accordance with strength and flexibility.

One of the most basic exercises for regaining proprioceptor response that my trainers gave me, was to stand on one foot for one minute. Try it. Notice how the muscles of your feet are working. Notice the subtle shifts in the joints. Take note of how long you can stay there before you lose balance. What happens when you close your eyes? What happens when you change the position of your free leg? In this simple exercise your proprioceptors are hard at work. In recent years many new tools have found their way into gyms for the sake of this kind of training, from Indo boards to Bosu Balls, however, thus far the only exercises are based on a standing position.

If standing on one foot conditions proprioceptors, imagine what swinging does. In AntiGravity Yoga training we swing perched on the AntiGravity hammock and practice letting go with our hands. The practice of free-swinging, often exercised in childhood, yet forgotten as we get older, is key to maintaining balance and understanding momentum.

Turning upside down is another important exercise for gaining kinesthetic awareness through proprioceptor training. Needless to say, this is also an important progression before practicing the ultimate proprioceptor challenge, the aerial somersault (aka: flip). All of these are practiced safely in AntiGravity Yoga in order to increase astute proprioceptor response.

Living and working in New York City has provided me with great insight on this topic as well. Typical New Yorkers do not have nearly as much physical activity time while growing up as the rest of the country. The litigious nature of NYC inhibits playful exploration and kills progressive P.E. programs for fear of an injury and thus a lawsuit. Swingsets in NY are actually rare. When I am teaching an AntiGravity Yoga class, as I witness someone discover a new plane of motion the process is exciting. First they conquer their fear, then provided their muscles can support, they create a new sensory pathway. Sometimes this happens quickly, often it takes a conditioning period. However, the sense of accomplishment from building a better visceral understanding of one's body always brings about joy.

I like to believe that the coordination conditioning we are doing in class is more than just playful exercise. By building a better kinesthetic awareness we also create a faster response time and could actually save ourselves or someone near us from a dangerous fall or collision. (see blog below entitled "someone saved my life tonite".)

By fine-tuning my proprioceptors, the increased agility does far more than make me a better athlete and dancer. From going through a rapidly revolving door, to saving someone from danger, to driving a Segway through the busy streets of New York safely, with ease and grace, I am constantly using my hyper kinesthetic awareness.

Although the surgeries and subsequent rehabilitation was no fun, I am grateful for what I've learned about proprioception response and that I am able to share that specific knowledge through exercises I've created in AntiGravity Yoga.

Michael Jackson / Peter Pan (a dark fairy tale)

Peter Pan refuses to grow up. He chooses instead to live in Neverland with the Lost Boys, fighting off Captain Hook and the Pirates, befriending the Indians and longing for Wendy, whom he is forbidden to touch.

Much has been said about the PeterPan Syndrome in which MJ is a classic example. An overbearing parent makes the world seem too harsh so a child chooses never to grow up and take on adult responsibilities. Although this is certainly an interesting concept that makes a lot of sense, I think it only touches on the truth. I think the “syndrome” led to a Peter Pan Complex, a trap that led to a life as elaborate as any fairy tale.

Upon news of his death, Priscilla Presley wrote in her blog about how MJ knew that he would die young. Although it is not pleasant to think about and purely my own conjecture, as a fellow sufferer from the Peter Pan complex who has had to dig deep to rediscover my true self as time steals away youth, I believe that Michael Jacksons death was deliberate. Whether it was conscious or subconscious we may never know, but the story fits --- and it is obvious.

Michael Jackson deliberately chose to model himself after Peter Pan. This meant that he couldn’t allow himself to grow old, it would contradict everything he stood for thereby tarnishing his legacy of youth culture. As an artist, creativity is the expression of individual mastery, therefore, to the ego one’s legacy is everything, worthy of immense sacrifice – even death.

As we all know, just before puberty, MJ was catapulted to superstardom and into a grown up world. On the merits of his own talent, he took flight into a land of his own creation, soaring above all the rest. However, as his power grew, it killed off what was left of his already short childhood. MJ would spend the rest of his life trying to find what was lost, literally creating his own Neverland.

Neverland is a place of adventure, but it is not a pleasure resort. Peter is continually at war with Captain Hook and the pirates, having to be very clever in creating disguises in order to fool others so as not to get caught and pulled back into their grown up world. Joe, his tyrannical father is representative of Hook, always there as a reminder of disapproval, wishing he could somehow regain control. The myriad of lawyers, agents, creditors, paparazzi and even family members and fans were the pirates of his story, constantly in pursuit.

Peter is also required to make peace with the Indians as his competitors for survival in Neverland. Tigerlily and Peter form a bond that brings peace and joy throughout the land --- but only for a short while. Diana Ross and the competitive Motown elite conjoined with MJ, relinquished their enormous controlling power over their industry to the kid wonder --- forming a bond. MJ, like Peter was a unifier, bringing together a divided world with his charm. For a long time, he could do no wrong. Like Peter, he ruled supreme and when he crowed his funky cock-a-doodle-doo we all listened and became his followers.

The Crocodile with the ticking clock that frightened Hook away was a dangerous weapon that Peter knew how to use to his advantage – but it was a delicate balance, as the Crocodile (Time) constantly threatened to gobble him up. It was all part of the adventure and MJ had the control.

Peter is in love with Wendy, but from afar. In the true story of Peter Pan, he is forbidden ever to touch her or he will grow up. Although MJ married, it was always considered a sham by all. Ironically, the mother of “his children” he never had to touch to impregnate. Peter was very clever, far too clever for his own good.

Tinkerbell is pretty and magical and enticing. She helps him find his shadow. Peter listens to her and often follows her advice. His shadow is large enough to create a giant industry of imitators. But Tink is also petty and jealous and a bit dim-witted, leading him astray. The lying doctors who promised him perpetual youth, with their opportunistic scalpels and drugs, the journalists who vowed not to betray his confidence and his team of selfish advisors led him down a path from which eventually he could not escape. Together they are Tink. We all witnessed the painful toll of his trusting them.

The Lost Boys are other children whom Peter spends much time convincing to treasure the sanctity of their own innocent childhood with great adventure. MJ never truly came of age sexually, although his on stage image portrayed that he had. He was fooling us with yet another a clever disguise. He never became a man, instead he remained trapped in his own closet. Most boys play with each other as a matter of self discovery. Had he been their actual age, we all would say, “boys will be boys”. It seems as if he could justify his dalliances because to him his actions truly were innocent. What he didn’t realize is that despite all his attempts to keep from growing up, he had grown up. As an adult his actions were not appropriate and his beautiful fantasy world suddenly came crashing down as we watched him continue to walk the plank.

As Michael’s life got more and more complicated he began to lose his battle against the pirates. He could no longer fight the grown up world. Lost Boys grew up and some joined the pirate’s team. Realizing he was losing the battle against time MJ chose not to allow us to see him succumb to old age. His legacy was becoming more and more tarnished each day that he remained alive.

In a final flourish, MJ staged a “comeback” leaving us to wonder. Was he hoping to hang on to his legacy of youth? Or, was it actually the final plank walk fabricated by the pirates? After grueling rehearsals did he look at the man in the mirror and finally see the truth? Peter Pan was grown up – Tink had led him astray, the crocodile had him in his grip and Neverland was in tatters. On his final day MJ drank the poison to which he had become addicted. Did he think he was invincible and it was all part of the adventure ride he kept us on, or was it his way of avoiding the fate that didn’t fit in his internalized story of PeterPan?

As a culture we immortalize those who die young and we lose interest in those who age. MJ knew this. By leaving this planet when he did, we will never know MJ, the truly old man. We are left here clapping our hands wildly, wondering if we clap long enough maybe he is clever enough to come back to life. Once again he has fooled us. MJ has not left us, he has found a new disguise, an invisible cloak. By leaving his body, he has only grown in stature and in power. We feast upon every morsel we can of his legacy, forgiving him for all his clever tricks as we relish in the world of adventure where we anxiously watch the battles that ensue.

In death, Michael Jackson has escaped from the pirates and spared us all the continued pain of watching Peter Pan grow up. The songs and images he left behind take us all instantly back to Neverland, remembering our youth and celebrating the wild ride he took us all on. Whenever we hear him crow, he is immortal our spirits once again take flight.

The Life Of Michael Jackson is a dark fairytale we will be telling for the rest of time.

NYC Mourns the Death of The King of Pop

Devastated by the loss of Michael Jackson, I rushed to Colony Records in Times Square to get some of his sheet music before it was all sold out. There I was met by Channel 7 Eyewitness News. They wanted my take as a consumer on the MJ mania ensuing in the city. The day had been quite emotional --- waves of realization of his influence kept running over me. *See Clip

As we mourned together, the city was bathed in a strange golden light --- like nothing I'd ever seen before. I was in Times Square (partially closed off to traffic) and everyone noticed the light. It was as if he was sending his omnipresent love from beyond. We had sunshowers and rainbows that day as well to soothe our aching hearts. *See Pix from my window

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades", and "almost" is what I will have to settle with. Michael Jackson is dead, as is my dream of working together. But at least I get to live with "almost". In 2002, Michael Jackson gave my company AntiGravity (in our performance with P.Diddy) a standing ovation at the MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall. I will never forget looking out from the stage and seeing him in the front row, all decked out, clapping wildly with a look of utter glee on his face. It was an amazing compliment. Shortly thereafter a representative from Clear Channel Entertainment contacted us saying that Mr. Jackson himself was aware of our work and wanted to meet to discuss a large scale Vegas project (following the Celine Dion/Cirque du Soleil model.) In order to ready us in the eye of the media, the producers brought us to Hollywood and into the "Wango Tango" concert series at the Rose Bowl with a myriad of other celebrities (Nelly, Kiss, Christina Aguillera, Priscilla Presley etc). They also gave us an appearance at the Radio Music Awards where MJ was making a rare appearance (we accepted an award on behalf of 50Cent). The event was a media frenzy so we never got to meet the great master as planned. However, we knew they were sincere because our TV billing was "An All-Star Michael Jackson event featuring AntiGravity". Obviously, the Vegas show was not to be. Days after the Radio Music Awards production Neverland Ranch was raided. Almost . . .

Since MJ and I are in the same age bracket, from an early age his creativity influenced my desire to be involved with the entertainment industry. From my desire to dance, to my need for creating edgy and commercially viable art, to my love for contemporary dance music and my need to at times dress over-the-top, to my Peter Pan complex, etc --- his DNA is deep in everything I do. Although I wound up in a completely different area of entertainment, whenever I produce art that appeals to pop culture, a bit of his legacy lives on. So many other artists and entertainers are saying the same thing. He had the privilege of creating his art without restrictions and what he made was magic.

I've been playing his music over and over. This lyric sticks out --- "You are not alone, I am here with you, although we're far apart you're always in my heart". I don't know if Michael ever experienced real love on a personal level. His life was so complicated and he was surrounded by vampires and leeches. But I do know this --- he truly loved his fans and we loved him.

Forever grateful ------- forever your loyal fan, Christopher Harrison

Someone Saved My Life Tonite

That Elton John song keeps playing through my mind, cuz today I actually saved someone’s life. I wasn’t trying --- it was pure timing. It has caused me to ponder about all the factors that had me there at that exact moment in time so that I could summon my inner hero. Whenever I'm at an airport as they are giving me my seat assignment I look at the agent and declare with confidence that I am the person they want in the exit row --- often it works. Today I proved it.

The last Sunday in June is Gay Pride in NYC --- and this year it was the first day of sunshine in one of the rainiest Junes on record --- so the streets were crazy! My partner Bobby and I zoomed and twirled through the parade on Segways, making people laugh and smile. Half way through the route, two intoxicated women were sitting on the back of an open hatch truck and one fell off onto the ground, landing on her side. The other woman went to help her, but just as she did, the vehicle started moving --- and it was attached to a heavy trailer of which they were in the gap. Suddenly everything turned into slow motion. The fallen woman’s head was in the path of the wheel, which was edging ever so closely to crush, to which she was oblivious. The other woman was also drunk and not responding in a proactive fashion and I was the next closest person in the scene. I jumped off my Segway, grabbed her and started to tug. She was a big girl and time was of the essence. The driver was obviously unaware and although they were driving slowly, the path would have been tragic; besides, I wasn’t up for a gruesome sight. The calamity would have stopped the parade and left a tarnish on the festivities. Her body was heavy, she was resisting and the wheel was edging closer. I tugged with all my might, but the gap was tightening, the thought passed through my mind that soon I'd be trying to pull her out with the weight of the trailer on top of her. I moved her somewhat but still not enough. The next thought was, okay now only her legs will be crushed --- no fun, but at least no guts spilling out. Finally, this woman must have realized what was going on because she gave a push with her feet so that she cleared just in time --- tragedy averted. One more millisecond and . . .

Instantly I knew that my entire day had been timed to lead up to that moment, which gave just cause for literally everything. The harassment by the cop, the impromptu photo shoots, the phone call I took --- all of which slowed me up. Life suddenly felt so vulnerable to fate. No longer can I name anything good or bad. Somehow, it all seems necessary as if it is tied to a greater karmic plan.

My profession is always about mitigating risk. How far can we safely test the boundaries of physicality and technology. It is my job to push the envelope, but never ever too far. My eye has been trained to recognize the edges of safety. Life is so precious -- health is our most valuable possession. I got to salvage them for a girl who will never really know what happened, who couldn’t muster up a thank you. And the festivities continued for the rest of the day to be a gay old time.

Revitalization in Tuscany

A private villa on the top of a hillside in Tuscany overlooking olive groves and grape vines is the ultimate remedy for this face-paced New Yorker in need of chill. The only things here that move fast are the hummingbirds. Slowly I feel my old self fall away making my breath open for a gentler being, unhurried, unworried and more in tune with nature. The food, the wine, the landscape, the light --- the citadels with watch towers and grandiose cathedrals --- bellisimo! Together with lover & friends we laugh, we reason, we swim in the infinity pool and we drink the wine from the local vineyards. We eat late and sleep in. It has taken a few days, but I am finding the part of me that is also a part of history, in tune with nature and at one with the energy some call God. It didn’t happen in a church or at the bank or in my bedroom --- it emerged just by slowing down, letting go of the need to be productive --- by being present in the moment all day long. Here where the birds sing in harmony I understand why Verdi, Vivaldi, Puccini and Rossini made such magnificent music. Here where the stars are so bright I realize the genius of Galileo and Leonardo da Vinci. Here where beauty abounds I see why Michelangelo and Raphael had such vision. One doesn’t realize how fast they’ve been running until they have to slow. I take in the smell of wild rosemary, I bask in the Tuscan sun and I waken in the early hours of the morning to see the light glisten on the dew as it peers over the neighboring hillside filled with vineyards and villas. I breathe it in and place it all into my memory so I can find this special place again upon my return to what we crazy New Yorkers deem civilization. Just now, Valbona has another amazing meal with many courses ready. We will enjoy the meal slowly, in stages as the last of the sun’s light sets on this June week, the longest of the year. Here it is easy to forget about the crisis on the planet, the global recession, my tax bill. If there is a heaven on earth, this is it.

EXERCISE AVERSION THERAPY

My mother Jeanne (69) has been exercise averse now for the past fifteen years. Although a former roller-skating champ, tennis leaguer and ski bunny, inertia settled in when my father died and the pounds started packing on. A frame of 5’2” her body is not meant to handle all the weight. Six years ago she underwent a double hip replacement. She got back to walking, but just barely. She can no longer walk a full city block, let alone ride a stationery bike or take a yoga class. Her joint mobility is extremely limited and prohibits most physical activities. She doesn’t want to be seen in a swimsuit or be humiliated in a group environment. She cannot do weight bearing exercises on her bunioned feet nor find a bra supportive enough to accommodate even low impact.

Naturally, as her son, I want to help. The AntiGravity Hammock is not just for yogis, it is also a tool to help those who are physically challenged and I developed the Restorative techniques with her in mind. For Mothers Day I hung an AntiGravity Hammock up in her home and dedicated time over the week to give her some super simple exercises. While she loved laying down and swinging, she flat out refused to do anything that was stretching or strengthening her muscles for fear she might injure herself. I am a fitness expert whose expertise is being sought out globally, but I had foolishly ignored the first step to fitness. It took my own mother to remind me. Before anyone can be effective at exercise, they must first make the choice to pursue health.

Jeanne watches diet fads come and go and understandably refuses to participate in the madness as she witnesses her idols (Oprah) balloon up and down. Rather than make small changes, she ignores it all. The same is true with exercising. She latches on to stories that promote fear around physicality and chooses complacency over activity. She heard of someone hurting themselves while in physical therapy requiring their hip replacement to be done over and so she chose not to do therapy after the surgeries. She lives by the philosophy, “The more you use it, the less time it will last” rather than “if you don’t use it you will lose it”. Our “exercise” sessions were actually more psychotherapy sessions than workouts. This was much more challenging than just doing the work. Here is what we discovered.

There are many excuses to choose complacency over activity. The mind will seek these out and latch on to them in order to avoid having to exercise. Here are the big three.

• I will injure myself.
I cannot say that this is not true. Exercising requires working not just hard, but also working smart. The path to health is not a steady incline, it is filled with dips and valleys. However, NOT exercising guarantees compromised health --- our greatest asset.

• I will look incompetent and feel inadequate.
This is also true, but who looks worse, someone who is on their path towards fitness or the fool that avoids it. Exercise is like the rent you pay to be in a body. Everyone must pay their landlord or wind up with a mess.

• No matter what I do I will never have my ideal body back so why try.
There are many stories of people who have discovered fitness in their later years. The objective should be to pursue health, not to seek perfection.

Here is the Exercise Aversion Therapy I finally came up with for my mother.

• Start where you are today to create a “practice”.
• Consider this recovery. Be kind and gentle with yourself in the process.
• Do your best every day --- no better, yet no less.
• Something is better than nothing.
• Choose exercises that you enjoy doing.
• Find clever ways to challenge yourself within the process.
• Motivate yourself with your favorite music.
• Choose an outfit you feel comfortable in.
• Choose a time of day when you have energy.
• Bring yourself to presence first and visualize yourself as healthy.
• Banish the negative thoughts as a part of your practice.
• Do not expect overnight success.

Here are the cautionary steps I suggested to minimize the potential for injury.

• Understand and work within your own physical limits.
• Learn to differentiate between good pain from muscle growth and bad pain from joint irritation.
• Use an astute trainer at least twice a month to help you build your routine and monitor your progress.

At the end of the day, I admire my mother for establishing boundaries and I will gently suggest she find someone she can trust to help her take tiny steps back towards health. Hey, change doesn't happen over night. At least she is having fun with her new hammock --- and the grandkids LOVE it!

Latin Music Award Shows Rock!

March 26th, Miami: Las chikkas de AntiGravity bungee danced from 50 feet high in the Opening Number of Premio Lo Nuestro with reggaeton (Spanish Rap) artists Wisin y Yandel.

The Latin people love spectacle and flash! They are over-the-top, especially when it comes to fashion, music and pop culture. Their award shows reflect it best. This was our fifth Latin Music Awards show for Univision and our third one with this amazing duo whose star has risen rapidly with the popularity of the genre. Whenever we perform in these spectaculars we get the chance to turn it out with large production values --- and the audiences love it! This time, however, we added a bit of extra flare beyond the giant bungee drop. The costumes were black against a black backdrop so we were afraid the girls would get lost while they were flying through the air ---- Alex suggested long blonde wigs and it was done. When you see them in the show the hair is illuminated and the rest of the fabulous female physiques of the athletes are virtually in silhouette thrashing in midair.

The performance was through the roof with giant angels over the audience and a floating cage that dripped with hot women around the artists. But the most memorable part of the program directly followed our number. The new President of the United States of America addressed the audience via video. He made it clear that the Latin community would be heard and their needs would be addressed. He thanked them for voting and spoke to them in Spanish. The audience responded by spontaneously chanting "Si Se Puede!" ("yes we can!"). The looks on their faces was sheer happiness. America no longer belongs to the white fuddy-duddies. As a gay man still fighting for my own rights, my skin became alive with goose-bumples and the reiteration that hope is once again alive in America.

In the review by TradingMarkets.com that keeps tabs on the different commercial markets, the reviewer mentioned us, "another dazzling aerial performance by the Anti-Gravity Performance Company." The program on Univision broke all rating records and out performed NBC and CBS for that hour.

I am honored to share these shows with this community. Tengo mucho amor para los personas Latinas y para el culturo Latino. Es muy differente de los shows similario con el Hip Hop communidad y de mainstream pop culture. Siempre es una fiesta muy feliz!

King of Times Square for a Weekend

If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas --- what happens in New York is broadcast for the entire world to see. NYC is the melting pot and Times Square is where it all bubbles over. Like aspiring Broadway performers, savvy companies come to NY to be in the center of it all as they launch their newfangled products. Ordinarily the Naked Cowboy gathers the largest crowd, but last weekend we did.

Hewlett Packard trumped their competition by coming out with the first touchscreen PC so they decided to debut their innovative new product with a bang on the first Spring weekend. My company AntiGravity was lucky enough to get the job. The assignment was to match their level of innovation with a lively performance in Times Square that also demonstrated their product.

This season in NYC is always special. New Yorkers come out of hibernation with smiles, the bridge and tunnel crowd make for a day in the city and tourism abounds. We had four scheduled shows taking place daily in the newly renovated Duffy Square (near the TKTS booth) for the entire three-day weekend. This year, however, giant snowflakes decided to come down on the first day of their launch. Although it didn’t last, it gave us a good scare --- in our world, the show must go on! We didn’t spend all that time in preproduction not to perform so we started the weekend toweling off the pavement. Luckily, by showtime it was dry and we got to do our thing.

AntiGravity has a roster that expands and contracts according to the project at hand. For this gig, twelve Broadway dancer / former rockettes, six champion rhythmic gymnasts, seven of NYC’s top break-dancers, the AntiGravity Boots Team, a celebrity hula hoop stack artist and her matching daughter, one Venezuelan Human Wheel and one Olympics MC were choreographed tightly into an original piece of music. Eight security guards and ten support staff were there to manage the production aspects which included over sixty props. The square was partitioned off and we were the party!

First we entered from four corners of Times Square in a Pied Piper fashion carrying flags and traveling in a dance clump while gathering the crowd. Once we had a good sized group in Duffy Square the show went up --- and up and up! Not only did we wow the crowds, but we also demonstrated the magic of the HP Touchsmart PC with a giant screen made of unwieldy placards and a giant hand that magically came together. Every time the hand would touch the screen it would change --- then another magical performance would ensue. We finished each show inviting the audience to take pictures with us.

As with every live production we had our share of challenges. The performers pulled together and didn’t miss a beat when the power was pulled on our music. Two breakers got landed on by an over-eager tumbler while in a difficult pose and still finished the shows. The wind threatened carrying away a placard or two. But all in all --- we hit! The audience and the clients were happy. Between the shows we kept the party going in our hotel conference room together.

When I first moved to New York from my small town in Utah, twenty five years ago, I was a wanna-be Broadway gypsy with two partially reconstructed knees determined to be in the center of it all. I carried with me three suitcases, a dance degree and lyrics from songs that provoked images of “making it on Broadway”. I moved straight to Hells Kitchen (a much grittier place back then) and have been here ever since. Now I look out my window on 42nd street from my apartment on the 46th floor into Times Square and I am continue to dream. New York can be a tough task-master that keeps us all running hard and fast to survive. One learns to value every small victory. Although I’ve earned my share of luck over the years, Broadway never gave me my starring role. This weekend, however, she opened up her arms and as the director of this crazy extravaganza, let me feel like the King of Times Square, spreading my creativity and sharing my joy with many at the “Crossroads of the World”.

“They say the city lights are bright on Broadway. . .and I won’t quit til I’m a star, on Broadway”. “Gotta Dance! Gotta Dance!” “Naughty, bawdy, Forty Second Street!” “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere, it’s up to you, New York, New York!”

Thanks to: Shelly Bomb (costumes), Malcolm Francis (music), Rocky Giberstein (asst.), Wendy Hilliard (choreo.), Heather Berman (choreo), Kwistep/Full Circle (choreo), Anna Jack (choreo), Daniel Stover (choreo), Empire Entertainment Production Team, J.B. Miller and Industrial Artists Management, Alex Schlempp, Eugena Harrington and the amazing performers from the Team AntiGravity roster.

Choosing Health Despite Ones Current Circumstances

I am finally able to write about this. In March 2008 I came down with Lymes disease. At first my body started to ache and I thought I had just been overdoing it. However, after a week I could barely walk and I knew it was something more. As the symptoms got worse I chased Western medicine to no avail. The top Rheumatologists in NYC told me I was just an aging athlete. The top Infectious Disease doctors found nothing with all their myriad of tests. Colonocopys, Gallium scans, EKG’s showed nothing more than high infection levels. One day they told me it was early Muscular Dystrophy, the next it was Crohns Disease and for a while their diagnosis was that I was converting to becoming HIV positive, but the tests would not show it for a while. Meanwhile, the 6 percasets and 6 advil per day were barely holding back the unbelievable pain. Simple things like getting out of bed, putting on my socks and opening jars were excruciating tasks. I lost all my strength and 15 pounds off muscle mass. My muscles ached and my joints became virtually immobile. After two months I turned to homeopathy and got a diagnosis of Lymes Disease. Lymes is a very complicated disease -- different in every sufferer and controversial in the medical field, brought on by a bite from a tick. I never got a positive test from Western medicine – which I later learned is typical. However, following the homeopathists path, who was very familiar with Lymes, within two more months I was well on my way to recovery. The bulk of my symptoms were gone after 6 months from the start. The entire ordeal would last 9 months.

As someone who has built my entire life around physicality, needless to say, this ordeal had an enormous effect. To be crippled while launching a new fitness technique in the public eye, made this as much a mental game as a physical one. So many voices of dread were swarming in my brain, yearning to take hold and make me into a victim. I could succumb to the low road and be a martyr in my field that everyone felt sorry for, or I could pull myself up by my bootstraps and chalk up yet another valuable life lesson. Needless to say, I chose the latter. In my early twenties as an aspiring dancer and high-level competitive athlete, I was faced with numerous complicated knee surgeries on both of my legs. I made the same choice then, to fight the odds and pursue a physical career despite the advice of all those around me. I chose “healthy denial”. So this time around not unfamiliar with the practice of visualization, once again I made a choice. I chose to live in the flow of life, unresisting my current circumstances. It became my quest not to project any negativity into the future. Whenever a negative thought would arise, or whenever I would get another negative prediction from a well-meaning professional, I chose to replace it with a vision of health and a mantra of wellness. At first I had to do this numerous times every minute. After a while, however, I disempowered the dark side of my mind and came to be content within the moment, no matter what I was currently experiencing. With every action, and at every juncture I chose health. I learned that it was a moment to moment practice that constantly required fighting the urge to compromise. Despite my circumstances, I alone had to be the one to be relentless while choosing healing.

The road back was incremental. I didn’t get to skip a single rung on the ladder of recovery. But, by being diligent with my thoughts and actions, I recovered. I exercised every day no matter the pain. For months I could only flutter kick in the pool, then as each joint recovered, I worked it to its limit. I also eliminated toxic intake of any kind, including coffee. I saw a psychotherapist and learned without giving myself blame or guilt to recalibrate the actions that might have led me to unconsciously provoke this lesson. I read Eckart Tolle and meditated on joy. I chose health at every juncture.

I am now much wiser in body, mind and spirit and more compassionate with others in pain. Most of all, I am even more committed to my own health and to helping those who are seeking health. As I struggle as a small-business owner in NYC to survive and get ahead, I realize that I cannot compromise my own health in the process --- for this is my truest form of wealth. There is no amount of success or money that can ever make up for the loss of my physical and mental well-being. In my newly informed practice, I choose each day to live in gratitude, informed by my past without being a victim to it, hopeful rather than fearful for the future yet grounded in the present moment – living in the flow. I continue through this recession to choose which thoughts and conversations I will give my time and attention to, aware of how they have the capacity to shape my experience.

I would not wish the pain and suffering of disease on anyone and yet, often it is the reality of being in a human body – the natural evolution of decay. If we live in denial that “anything like that could ever happen to me” then when it comes we can easily fall into the victim mode, which doesn’t help us to take charge of our healing. Life happens. We are not victims, we are students, learning life’s lessons as we go so that we are more complete human beings. Maybe if when challenges hit, we take that attitude, we will be able to continue on with patience and grace and we will emerge stronger than before.

I am frustrated by the inane mechanism that we call the health profession – counterintuitive to healing in nature. However, although Western medicine did not ever give me answers as to what hit me, in the long run I did get to rule out many possible diseases and I don’t know how I would have survived without the pain meds supplied. Meanwhile, my top notch health insurance still cost me thousands and did not cover the expensive homeopathy that I believe eventually led to my recovery.

After this ordeal, my advice --- don’t get bit by a tick, but if you do (and the analogy lies true for any disease), choose health – at every turn. Make it your unrelenting mission and know you have my compassion.